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This was spoken at a Requiem Mass
by Lawrence Cotton (J91)
at Our Lady and English Martyrs’ Church Cambridge,
10th August 2005 Feast of St. Lawrence.
Over the past weeks we have received countless messages from friends and family from all over the world about Tim and the one quality which has stood out in all of them has been his ENTHUSIASM. My father, Tim was a great lover of life. His enthusiasm for everything he did was something that was clear to anyone who met him.
Tim had many passions in life. One of his great loves was India, the country of his birth, and of six generations of Cottons before him. Starting life as a tiny baby weighing just 2 pounds, in Delhi in 1940, he must have learned the fighting spirit that we have seen throughout his life and especially throughout his illness over the past 9 years. He lived in India for 7 years with his father, an army Colonel, his mother, his sister Joanna and brothers Julian and Tony.
Tim was educated at Ampleforth College in Yorkshire, where his brother Tony became a Benedictine monk. Tim’s firm Christian faith was the basis on which he lived his life. He was very grateful for his education and recently set up the Ampleforth College Bursary Fund in order for others, not as fortunate as himself, to be able to benefit from the schooling they offer.
His childhood overseas inspired in him a desire to learn of different countries and cultures. His working life began in the Hong Kong Bank which he joined at 19. He spent the next 27 years with them at overseas postings in New York, Singapore, Hong Kong, Japan, The Philippines, China and Pakistan. In each posting Tim always made the best of things, throwing himself into the culture, attempting to learn the language, and making life-long friends with local people as well as with those in the expat community.
Tim and Allix took every opportunity to explore all the countries that they lived in. One such adventure took them by train from Shanghai to Urumchi in the heart of the Gobi desert in North West China. Much to Tim’s horror, the only nourishment available on the National railway in Communist China in 1981 was reconstituted dried shrimps and dried cabbage!
In Tim’s life his greatest joy and happiness came from the immeasurable love he felt for his wife Allix and his family. His conviction in what he believed was right and his ability to make a quick decision, from the most trivial to the most important, is well known. At the age of 27, nearing the end of a long leave from Asia, Tim met and fell in love with Allix and within 2 months, he was living in Japan with his new wife. He found a new purpose and meaning in life, was devoted to her and throughout his life, talked about how he was the luckiest man alive. He wished for nothing more than to create a warm, loving and stable family. He was selfless in the decisions he made, which were always taken with Allix and his family in mind and he wanted nothing more than for us to be happy and secure. He gave us all such praise, support and encouragement in everything we chose to do. The day Sophie became an Australian citizen, he raised the Aussie flag in the garden at home in Cambridge, where it has continued to fly to this day. Despite his illness, he summoned the strength to fulfill his dream of walking Sophie down the aisle on her wedding day just a month ago and in his last days he mentioned that this had been the happiest day of his life. When Tim was first diagnosed with his illness he never thought he would live to see his grandchildren. Four years ago, he became the proudest grandfather in the world of twin girls, Zoe and Lucy, who along with their baby sister, Hazel, have given him so much joy and laughter during such difficult times.
Tim brought such magic and wonderment into the lives of children, and was proud to be considered an adopted grandfather to several of his friends’ children. Many fondly remember breakfasts at Glisson Road with Tim of ice-cream and chocolate biscuits! The only guests at his last birthday party in December were his youngest friends, aged between one and eight years old. He said it was the best birthday party he had ever had!
Wherever he went, Tim made many true friends who couldn’t fail to be touched by his infectious enthusiasm, his sense of humour and his great concern for others. His love of walking, took him with his close group of hiking friends, on many adventures including crossing the Pyraneese, Cradle Mountain in Tasmania, the Routeburn trail in New Zealand, and the Hindu Kush mountains on the Pakistan/Afghanistan border, and completing the Tour de Mont Blanc.
Another of Tim’s great passions was running, completing 5 marathons after the age of 40 and being an enthusiastic member of the Hash House Harriers throughout Asia. Here in Cambridge he was responsible for founding the Cambridge University Hash, affectionately known as a drinking club with a running problem. Monday nights in the St Radegund pub have become an institution for many Cambridge residents and university students, many of whom are here today.
In Cambridge Tim also established 2 other exclusive clubs: - the SHED CLUB, the sole criterion for membership being ownership of a garden shed; and the CURRY CLUB, which meets monthly in the Sweet’n’spicy Pakistani Restaurant in Mill Road. Both of these are mainly excuses to hang out with mates for a beer and a yarn. I’m sure Tim will now be setting up some sort of new club in heaven so he can enjoy a celestial glass of beer!
Bee-keeping became an absorbing hobby for him when the family settled in Cambridge 18 years ago, and he was on the committee of the Cambridge Beekeepers Society for a few years. He kept hives in his own garden as well as in those of friends around Cambridge, and pretended to know each bee by name! Over the years he produced thousands of jars of honey. Once or twice a year he managed to persuade Allix to turn her kitchen into a honey-extracting factory, a messy job which left sticky patches of honey from ceiling to floor for Allix to clean up!
Tim’s most recent interest has been his letter cutting, which he took up just 2 years ago, and he has been prolific in production of beautifully carved works of art, two of which are here in front of the altar today. This newly discovered talent gave him great pleasure, and he fulfilled his desire to complete his work in commemoration of the birth of his newest grandchild, Hazel, just weeks ago. The unfinished stone here in the church was begun in his final days when he was no longer strong and was unable to see clearly. This is yet another example of his determination and courage.
Tim faced his illness with great dignity, and was always so appreciative of the medical treatment and support given him by the doctors and nurses at the surgery, Addenbrookes Hospital, and Arthur Rank hospice.
Tim was the perfect example of a true gentleman, and was always so modest about his many achievements. We will all miss him and his enthusiasm for life, which he lived to the full. Tim’s indomitable spirit, profound character and love of life were an inspiration to each of us. There is no doubt that he has left a positive mark on the world. Nobody who ever met Tim could fail to be enriched by his friendship.
Lawrence Cotton (J91)
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Deaths
